Falling Out of Love

One problem that couples can experience is when the spark has died in the relationship. They can feel like they’ve become flatmates under the same roof. It is often described as having fallen out of love, even if the person still loves their partner. We call this detachment. It is different to the ups and downs of attraction and connection that occurs in any relationship - is like when the fire has gone out completely. This can happen to one person or both. It is often when there has a very painful event that was not repaired or when important needs have not been met over a period and the person loses hope of things changing. It is not a conscious decision but rather something that happens unconsciously. It will often affect the couples’ sex life and sexual desire. When not addressed, it often leads to depression or infidelity. If this appears to be a possibility in the relationship, the therapist will carefully assess and then discuss options of how to proceed.